whoa! watch out said that bird
hay hay haaay
how are you? swell? splendid!
a few things have hip-happened since last we met via cyberspace.
**WARNING: NERD ALERT**
for starters, HARRY POTTER 7.2 premiered. that was sad, but a nice end to a good chunk of adolescence. i remember being introduced to the hp gang in 6th grade ironically enough by my religion teacher, mrs. betty. she was super cool. she read the first few paragraphs of the 1st book to our class just for kicks one day. she said she really enjoyed it and thought we would, too. so i dragged my dad to the bookstore in the now supa guh-heh-tto mall (northwest mall, anyone?) and suckered my dad into buying the book for me. then again with the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh.
howevaaa, the seventh book came out when we were on this ridiculously long road trip to colorado. we were in new mexico at the time. i read it in two days. couldn’t put it down and was forced to sleep. it’s kinda crazy how ink on paper & light effects on film can affect so many people.
anywho, i saw the final installment (speaking of, when are they gonna quit with the final destinations? shouldn’t there have only been one? it’s a FINAL destination. whatever.) at the midnight showing with the adame boyz–they be crazy.
not gonna lie, michael standing up, sticking his hp wand in the air, and firmly stating “mischief managed” at the end of the movie was pretty hilarious. there was applause and cheers but i’m not really sure if it was for michael or the ending of the ten year project…i guess i should also inform you that the wand he so proudly showcased has an illuminating tip. but did it light up? no. was it still hilarious? even more so.
good times, good times.
**END OF THE NERD ALERT** if you’ve made it this far congratulations, you survived!
on to more exciting things…”more exciting” as in “yaaay, more fun things” not, “this is waaay better than what i just talked about.” glad i cleared that up.
so basically, i’m more of a baker than a cook.
rice-a-roni? burned it. (BUT i found out later that i did something fancy on accident. i was watching top chef after that fiasco and one of the chefs was purposefully overcooking rice to make a hash or something like that. i’m basically a gourmet rice chef. and by “basically,” i mean not even close.)
cooking meats? hope you have a strong immune system. salmonella isn’t that serious…
do i have a saucepan? i don’t understand…that means it has a handle, right?
so with my stellar track record, i’m really surprised with my parents’ decision to allow me to make enchiladas from scratch. i found this recipe on pinterest you see, and i thought i could toooootally make it. the recipe can be found righ hurr.
so i go to the grocery store, pretending i know what i’m doing when picking out an onion (no clue) and continue on my merry way. one problem, i’m almost home and realize i forgot tortillas. not a key ingredient or anything. so i head back and look really cool. should have been a warning sign.
once i get home with everything, i start measuring out spices and rinsing/chopping/cooking vegetables. (cooking tip: put the onion in the freezer before choppin it up and you decrease the amount of tears streaming down your face. yo welcome.)
my mom gets home, attempts to help me but realizes i’m a hopeless case and kinda wanders out of the kitchen. my dad gets home, realizes he forgot his phone in his work car…vehicle? and my mom accompanies him to go pick it up.
by this point i’m onto the most dangerous part of the recipe…actually i saw it in another recipe and thought i could do it, too. you fry the corn tortillas in a bunch of oil. my mom sees this and calmly expresses her concerns on this advanced cooking technique. she then quizzes me on what to do if there’s an oil fire.
mom: “what do you do if there’s a fire?”
me: “umm…i cover it up with a towel?”
mom: “what kind of towel?”
me: “a dish towel?”
mom: “a wet towel. but make sure you wring a lot of the excess water out or it could make the fire bigger. it was in that email titch (an aunt) sent us, didn’t you get it?”
me: “ooooh…yeeeaaah, i got it. buuut, i didn’t read it…so that’s what it was about?”
–in walks dad–
dad: “did you tell her how to avoid a greek fire, from that email titch sent?”
me: “you read it, too!?!”
dad: “yeah, it’s so coo!” (yes, “coo” not, cooL)
they leave and i’m alone staring at the pan of hot oil. everything goes according to plan until lots of things happen at once.
1) the oil? fun fact, it gets hotter, so i cut frying time down to 6 seconds. i had no idea as to what i was doing, so i treated the frying circles of corn like pancakes. if they started puffing up in the center, they needed to be flipped.
2) the chicken that i was cooking simultaneously was done, so i uncovered it. this is when things get crazy. the condensation on the inside of the lid moved to one side due to stupid gravity and spilled into the oil pan.
3) what happens when water meets hot oil? the oil gets pissed and basically throws a tantrum. i got hit by a few splatter drops. it was a wee bit painful. the water also managed to make the oil smoke.
4) a toothpick that was caught up in a mat in the kitchen made friends with the side of my foot. it started bleeding.
5) the whole house was super smoky and smelled like oil.
6) parents get home.
they were unsurprised. however, they didn’t make a big deal about it. i was shocked.
now, they want me to make them again. say whaaa? i did something right? heck yeah. so yeah, my first actual meal didn’t make anyone sick AND the house is still standing…woooo!
so now i’m prepping for an upcoming family trip to san antonio. should be a hoot. so far i know there are plans to attend sea world. other than that, no clue.
finally, i’d like to leave you with the inspiration to this post’s title. the honey badger. if you haven’t seen this video, please do so immediately. IMMEDIATELY. and if you loved it, watch it again. if you hated it, don’t hurt me.
naturally, now i want THIS.
ps–merry christmas in july!
a fine frenzy