this pancake looks like my dreams

why hello friends! how is erryone doin!?! splendidly well i hope!

i’m just gonna jump on in on this blogging adventure because it’s chock full of pics, vids, and quips!

ready? ok!

my aunt, cousins, dad, and i ventured to good ol san antonio! david didn’t go because he said that every time we went on a family vacation a crazy massive party would go down and he would miss it. so he stayed home. how was his party? there wasn’t one. idiot. my mom didn’t go because there were some issues with my grandma. so she put a damper on david’s home alone shenanigans.

anywho, in san antonio we went to sea world! sat in the splash zone with shamu and baby samu, saw a bunch of penguins, watched some silly sea lions put on a show, and rode a few rides. in one line they played the cha cha slide and ymca. the only people that felt like gettin low to flo were all the little kids. it was pretty funny/cute/how did they know how to get low to the flo? whatevs.

since we were in san antonio, my dad decided to extend his man v. food¬†quest. we found ourselves at big lou’s pizza¬†and lulu’s.

first up, big lou’s 42″ pizza. it’s ginormous.

i feel sick. if you look closely, you can see the top of my cousin's hat on the left. he was leaning over so he wasn't in the way and wound up looking like he's hiding.

it was a little shorter than my arm. MY ARM.

we had like 9 slices left. so we boxed em up and took em home. too bad those slices felt like they were 10-15 lbs. frreal.

next, lulu’s for the 3 lb. cinnamon loaf (roll).

my dad saw how they sells these things. they make a batch, cut em, wrap em up, set em out on a counter "like cds," then unwrap them when ordered OR sell them ta-go. so if they order one there, they just heat it up, place it on a plate and stab a knife into the top and if you get it to go they tell you to unwrap it, put it on a plate and place it in the microwave for 4-5 minutes. ta daaa.

like our knife? it's not a knife. it's one of those coffee stoppers/plugs from starbucks. my aunt got creative but it didn't work very well, sooo my cousins turned into savages and started ripping it apart with their hands.

at the end of the trip i had a whacked out sunburn/tan lines (including but not limited to an awesome flip flop tan), and crapload of oversized food stuffs.

speaking of visiting animals, there was zoosday. (insert whooping and hollering)

zoosday is what i dubbed going to the zoo on a tuesday. at the houston zoo every first tuesday of the month is free after 2.

twosday zoosday!
you’re welcome for the mnemonic device.
(no, i didn’t need spell check for “mnemonic!” jeeeaaalooouuus!?! no? didn’t think so…)

it was flippin hot. michael, grant, jeff, and i kinda shuffled around the zoo lookin at the aminals (yeah. aminals) and entered the inside exhibits whenever we could. but my fave part were the elephants.

baaabyyy eleFUNt. also, it's because of jeff that i have this picture. it was frackin hot. too hot to move.

another favorite moment was inside the monkey/otter/fish exhibit (i don’t remember exactly what it was called) when michael decided to crawl through this tunnel that cuts through a fish tank, so when you’re inside you can see all of the fish swimming around you. funny thing about fish tanks, they’re made of a sturdy translucent material like glass so you can distortedly see whoever’s crawling through. michael decided he wanted to booty dance/bounce mid crawl in front of some poor little girl. i was laughing too hard to take a picture. i’m sorry.

and while i’m on this animal kick, i’m gonna show you this because i think it’s hilarious:

i feel like this individual is a hardcore city dweller or it's a joke. i really hope this is real. possums are gross so i don't even wanna know how handling one would be like...yuuuck.

i showed that to my grandma. best decision ever. her reaction: “dammit, alyssa! that’s not a cat!” she got mad at me. but i thought it was hilarious.

ok, i just remembered another animal related thing…

i laughed for a's just too awesome!

now, it’s time for sports!

went to a baseball game with the cousin that was hidden by the pizza and jeff. my grandpa got some tickets from a watermelon seller he buys from (he’s in the produce game) and gave em to my dad. thing is, my dad and david are kinda over the astros because they haven’t been doin so well, so i got em! we sat in foul ball territory. so much so that we almost got hit by one.

look how serene it seems. too bad that changed.

theeen, later on the same trio went to the texans training camp. it was in the morning and it was super humid. we watched the team practice with commentary from a small child. he was hilarious.

the entrance.

did i mention that we all lacked texans gear…cause we did.

#8, matt schaub, is the quarterback and #80, andre johnson, is a popular player (wide dad just informed me). the little kid's mind exploded when he saw them standing next to each other. "look dad! they're standing next to each other! now, they're talking! they're friends! they're friends, dad! ...they're BIG!" thank you small child. he looked like he was 6. he was also sitting on his dad's shoulders.

a while ago i introduced you fine folks to my friend, jeremy, when he started his sports blog. well, that kid i love to hate done got himself a job with the texans as a pr assistant. so he met up with us and i sneakily took a pic of his badge because i thought it was crazy…i still do.

i hope this isn't illegal...this photo may be available for viewing for a limited time...still pretty legit.

i feel like a proud parent. and see the hope that could potentially be the future of obtaining a job. somewhere, yaaay! and now, dare i say, i’m kinda excited for football season? also because football season comes before fall, which comes before thanksgiving, which comes before winter break, WHICH COMES BEFORE CHRISTMAS. as if you didn’t know what that was leading up to. pffHA.

and now i look forward to babysitting the tiny terror and pint-sized punk for a whoooole weeeek! there will be crafts, outings, and tantrums galore! i can’t wait. maybe i’ll give them lunchables or something…speaking of lunchables…i’m really diggin these segues to fun things. these fun things just find me. they’re like oh, hey, that’s alyssa, let me just show myself to her, she’ll laugh. and they’re right.

here’s a spoof ad for lunchablez. just watch:

ham n’ cheez in buhtween two crackuhz. speaking of…food…? never mind. just watch this and thank me later.

she’s the new mitchell davis. that. good. i may or may not have watched all of her kitchen episodes…

back to school excitement/dread can wait til next week.

“halftime (stand up and get crunk)”
ying yang twins

One Response to “this pancake looks like my dreams”
  1. Nicole Alvarado says:

    That drunk octopus thing–I saw one similar on tumblr once and now everytime I see one of those things, I think about that

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