could i write a check for that?


hi, fancy folks!

so since the beginning of the month i’ve decided i’m just gonna start writing people checks if i owe them money. why? because i like writing checks and i really want the bank teller to give the recipient questionable looks when they’re making a deposit.

jeff was the first victim/winner (depends on how awesome this idea sounds to you). this check was for the hotel room 5 of us split when we were in college station for that wedding back in january.

you daredevil, you! but seriously jeff, i really want to see these skills. and don't worry, your privacy has been ensured...kind of.

honestly, what would you have picked?
hotel room (and slightly sound like you troll the streets at night, potentially advertising your “services”)
OR
hula hooping/random activity that pops into mah brain (and seem like you love to have fun!)

no brainer.

ALSO, if the bank person is having a bad day, that might sorta’ish cheer them up?

you know what else is fun? playing games. on your phone. with your friends.

exhibit a:

i love this joke. i have another one, too...

his word: peroxid
even the spellcheck on my computer is all “hold-up, hold-up, hold-up” with its squiggly little red line. i looked it up online and it’s interchangeable with ‘peroxide.’ ummmm…we’re in ‘merrca (america), you need to read n write ‘merrcan (american). ooh, english language, why you so trickaaay (cue run dmc).

ok, ready for the other animal themed joke!?!
Q: Why can you never trust the king of the jungle? (answer hidden in this post–so HA, all of you wanting to scroll to the bottom!)

anyway, i would discuss super bowl happenings but i’ve got nothin. i guess i could talk about how i made these red velvet cheesecake brownie things and took them.

yes, let’s discuss that.

when i got to the family-party headquarters one of my crazy aunts had made lemon bars. then she looked at what i brought and decided that we were in a race. how do you win this absurd race? all of your baked goods are eaten before the other. i wasn’t paying much attention to it because it/she’s CRAZY, but then i noticed how there were 2 left in each container so i was like ‘oh, look we’re tied, hahahahahaha.”

then, it got serious.

she got this crazier look in her eye, which i didn’t think was possible, and stared at everyone standing around the room. there were like 5 other family members around us including her son/my cousin, so he says, something like, ‘welp, let me just make it that much closer to the finish line’ and makes a grab for one. ummm…i thought he was goin for what his mom brought.

nope! took one of mine.

she yelled at him and everyone started laughing. then another cousin picked up the last one and jokingly said, ‘guess i’ll finish em.’ he took a bite, then she started yelling “drop it! drop itttt!” at him while swatting at his arm. he got an ‘oh, shiz’ look in his eye and put the half eaten piece back in the container. then my brother, ole reliable/pain in the butt, grabs it and eats it. obviously germs aren’t taken into account if you’re related…

so everyone is looking at her as she’s glaring at me, because naturally it’s always my fault that i can’t control the actions of other people. then she’s like, “well, i guess since you won you have to make those every time we come over here.” everyone was fine with that. except for me because i had a ‘you gotta be kidding me’ look and that meant she won. but guess what.

honey bader don’t care!

honey badger, you're my best friend.

other than that, i’ve been counting down to this austin trip hip-happenin TOMORROW (2/10). you have no idea how excited i am. i should probably charge my camera battery…pictures shall be taken. documentation is needed. so are portable memories for those who tend to go all out…
i’m not not implying myself…i’m the responsible one. frreal. i am.

BUT if you’re ever like, man, i wish i knew how to tell if i’m drunk. you should read this: 10 ways to tell if you’re drunk
#10 is pretty spot on. but my favorite is #9.

i don’t know anyone who has done this. but i think it’s hilarious.

i also think it’s funny how most college-aged individuals in austin traipse down streets and hop in and out of places. partying on the streets sounds dangerous under any other circumstances.

oh. i forgot to include the answer to my awesome joke midway. and look! you ended up scrolling to the bottom anyway…mah bad.
A: because he’s always a’lyin.
(a lion…get itttttt!?! hahaha, oh man. sooo good.)
you’re welcome.

now i must go forth and pack!
austinites, i shall see you on the streets! haaa, streets. where we will austi-reunite…ok, that one was a stretch. might have even pulled a muscle…

sotp:
“life is sweet”
cara beth satalino

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